Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Terrifying Blank Page

One thing that terrifies me is the blank page.  It staring back at me in all its blankness...  I worry what I am going to say isn't important, or fear that what I'll say is wrong because I've been wrong so many times before.  But I've decided to put my thoughts out there, and maybe someone will find it interesting, or important, or crazy: you have your own mind to make up about me.  Or you already know me and have already made up your mind.  But about one thing you can be sure: I will write my version of the truth and do my best not to lead your mind awry.

A little about me: I'm a poet who's shy about her poetry.  I went to undergrad for it: English Literature and Creative Writing, which turns out not to be all that worthwhile of a degree in the 'Real World': the realm most people find themselves stuck in.  The only blog I've written has been on myspace, though incomplete and sparce.  I have not published anything since the 7th grade.  
(Seventh grade? you might wonder.  A teacher of mine had submitted a piece I had written in response to Little Women, printed in a collection of middle-school writing.  I remember the piece: I wrote from the point of view of Beth, a letter to her family on her deathbed, ending with her impassioned declaration that she is not afraid of death.  Which borders on cheese, but if it's one thing I know: people love all kinds of cheese).  
I have been writing, only secretly.  Ninja style.

I've always been a creative mind and I constantly need to express myself but most often I don't put what I make 'out there'.  I'm not calling it a New Years Resolution even though it is the time of year we collectively think about these things, but more of a man-up order to myself.  There are plenty of writers who were late bloomers in this art and I consider myself now among them.  Just one thing I'm going to attempt to tackle.

2009 is to be a year of growth for me.  I believe in trying to improve oneself, and this year I am determined to make great strides.  2008 was a hard year for me, as it was for most people I've talked to.  I will elaborate on my story later, but for right now I'm focusing on what I want to come.  I am going back to school to build on my education.  I want to build on my knowledge of Spanish.  I want to write more and publish.  I want to travel again and I have promised my friend Haley a trip to China, where she will be teaching English beginning in March.  I also am working on improving my health by quitting smoking and getting back into shape.  These are my major goals this year, and I'll let you in on my progress.  You know, if I'm not feeling secretive ;).

Now I have broken my silence, and I hope you will enjoy reading my thoughts, opinions, and stories.  My page is no longer blank, and this is my one step closer to where I want to be.

Kisses and Kittens,

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